20 Reasons To Get A Starbucks

Back in our days as poor college students, we often had trouble monetarily justifying our Starbucks additions. Yes, Morgan and Charlotte both are unabashedly addicted to coffee. Excuses have ranged from absolutely ridiculous jokes to actual legitimate reasons why coffee is a must. We had the idea of writing a book called “365 Reasons to Get a Starbucks.” While the book is still in the works we thought we would share a few now.
  1. You have not yet today. What are you waiting for?
  2. You are in Seattle. Several sub-reasons apply:
    • It is the hip thing to do here
    • It is likely raining
    • It is likely below 45 degrees
  3. Reading this post already has you craving one. Yeah, you are an addict too.
  4. Studying. Approaching finals week, and you will not be sleeping for another several days. This might require not just one, but rather TWO venti coffees. Double fisting at its finest. 
  5. It is Monday. Or, Wednesday, really. Or Friday. In fact, any day can be used as a casual “oh yeah, I just needed a coffee, I mean, it is xxxxxday after all.”
  6. You wake up in a pre-coffee coma and find yourself doing things like Charlotte has been known to, such as hunting for her deodorant in the freezer, forgetting to put water in the coffee maker, or forgetting to actually turn the coffee maker on and wondering why no coffee will brew…yeah, better just let someone else make it.
  7. You need a drink, but given your current setting, alcohol would be inappropriate.
  8. Or, you’ve already had a lot of alcoholic beverages the night before, and nothing is a better hangover cure than a breakfast sandwich and iced coffee.
  9. You were up all night putting finishing touches on your fashion designs for your very first runway show and need a pick-me-up to carry you over until showtime starts, as is occurring in the extremely unflattering and definitely outdated photograph below.
  10. You, like in the case of our dear friend Jennifer, have destroyed your ankle while playing tennis on a court where the terrain resembles a volcano/weed garden. Bonus – explaining this can get you a lot of free ice so you are both physically and emotionally curing injury.
  11. You are on a really bad date, or similar situation that requires an immediate yet potentially unattainable escape. In Morgan’s case, dairy can make her feel sick enough to get out. In Charlotte’s case, ordering a soy hazelnut latte is likely to send her on an allergic trip to the hospital. Problem solved! (Disclaimer: do not let your date pull a “Hitch” and take you to get Benadryl then spend the night making sure you are okay).
  12. “It counts as a meal.”
  13. You are in Paris, and the only French you learned how to say prior to coming was “je voudrais un cafe au lait s’il vous plait.” Guess you’ll have to survive on cafe! This is the most economical option, anyway. 
  14. Gold card! Get those stars! Free drinks!
  15. One for the road. You are doing a car trip, such as the drive from Seattle up to Charlotte’s hometown. Plus you want to pull a Morgan and loudly honk into the drive through window ordering speakers to keep the employees on their toes.
  16. Post dental trauma. In Morgan’s case, after the dentist nearly destroys her jaw in a two hour procedure. Worth it even if you are drooling coffee after. In Charlotte’s case, after the dentist says “OOPS, I just can’t get all these pieces to stop falling out!” Does pieces refer to the teeth or the tools? Either way, quite concerning…
  17. Boss in a bad mood.
  18. Fancy coffee, such as at The Palace of Versailles, is too much for you to handle. For example, you might, like Morgan, assume that the small gingersnap cookies served with your espresso are actually brown sugar to be plopped right in the drink! Upon realizing your mistake you will have to unceremoniously try to fish the soggy suds out to the horror of the fancy waitstaff…yeah, better off with just plain old Starbucks. 
  19. You are sleeping IN Starbucks. Charlotte witnessed this yesterday and thought, WOW. If you are so sleepy that you cannot even make it to the counter without pausing for nap, you are the first customer who should purchase our entrepreneurial idea of having a wheel-able caffeine IV. Or just a pocket flask of espresso, or something.
  20. You work retail and have been entrusted with the process of opening the store for business as early as 5 AM. Let it be known that it is cruel and unusual punishment for anyone to have to work BEFORE Starbucks is even open.

You also know you have a problem when you are using the Starbucks excuses to justify other life excuses. For example, one day we decided the “Charlotte’s Reasons To Move To California” list should include the fact that iced coffee was cheaper than lattes and thus she would actually save money on coffee by living in a warmer climate.

Well, we can pretty much guarantee that you all have used a version of this justification once or twice. Comment your excuses below, on our Facebook page, or Tweet #reasonssforStarbucks to @LeCoeur_DeLaVie us so we can all feel better about our coffee addictions! [#supportgroup #enablers #sorryiamnotsorry]

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4 thoughts on “20 Reasons To Get A Starbucks

  1. Someone was sleeping in starbucks??? I may have used many if not all of these excuses for coffee before, but oh my, at least I’ve never done that!!

  2. Pingback: Road Trip Essentials | lecoeurdelavie

  3. Pingback: Wednesday Wisdom 9.5.12 | lecoeurdelavie

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