Wednesday Wisdom 9.5.12

It’s Wednesday; you know the drill! This week’s edition is inspired by our recent road trip from Seattle to Long Beach via a stop in San Francisco for the night. Throughout the weekend we definitely saw plenty of √DO and XDO NOT moments, so read on for some good advice and hopefully good laughs.

√DO enjoy complimentary wine at weddings, well enough to the point where you are getting REALLY into the YMCA dance and decide to rewrite it to be the WINE-MCA which actually stands for WINE MORGAN & CHARLOTTE are ALCOHOLICS or WINE MORGAN & CHARLOTTE ANONYMOUS. Winos are the life of the party, after all. √DO revisit WineMCA later in the weekend when you are enjoying a delicious dinner at Fisherman’s Wharf after an incredibly long day of driving. X DO NOT, when it comes to alcohol, sneak an entire 40 oz into your purse when you are underage and riding public transportation in San Francisco. Yes, we get it, you just want to fit in with the smell and inebriation level of everyone else on the trolley, but you are so not hiding anything when you are pouring gallons of vodka into your cold to-go Starbucks cup which is half filled with blue liquid. Nothing on Starbucks’ menu is blue, and we would know.

√DO challenge your existing ideas of music and experiment with Charlotte’s “creepy crawly” iPod library. You might find you enjoy new bands you never knew of before, such as Oh No! Oh My!, the Black Keys, Citizen Cope, and Tegan and Sara. X DO NOT ignore Charlotte when she tells you that you for sure will not enjoy a particular band, such as Panda Bear, and decide to listen anyway because “Good Girl/Carrots” makes you giggle. You will likely find yourself screaming “OH SHIT I AM GOING TO DIE” as soon as the song starts while flinging everything in your seat vicinity around in a desperate attempt to change the song, causing Charlotte to laugh so hard she cries and can barely concentrate in SF traffic.

√DO clean out your cosmetics collection as the new fall season dawns. The shelf life of your makeup is often much shorter than you might keep it for, so we aren’t always getting in there enough to purge and replace older products. Charlotte found that moving was a great chance to clean hers and is so glad she did! X DO NOT expect Southern California cosmetics retailers to stock your pale pale Seattle vampire white shade of facial makeup. Or the next darkest shade. Or the next darkest after that. Either get your butt to the beach for the entirety of your next four days off or expect to have to import your makeup from Seattle.

A few extra driving and road trip X DO NOTS:

X Have sex hair while driving. Combs exist for a reason.

X Display stupid bumper stickers such as “AND ON THE EIGHT DAY, GOD CREATED BOARDER COLLIES.” ….of all things?

X Try to be a photographer extraordinaire while driving by maneuvering your camera-phone across the skyline in a series of arm-stretch resembling motions out the top of your roof. There’s really not going to be anything worthwhile to show for this.

X Sit in the bed of a truck while driving down the freeway if you are the only one who knows what direction you are going. The driver inside may or may not see you as you attempt to flag them down by banging on the back window, wildly gesturing that you have just missed the exit.

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